Salon Maximus, Filmstar Suite, Hotel It-Is-Not-Vulgar It-Is-A-Coherent-Expression-Of-A-Particular-Aesthetic-Well-Described-By-The-Word-Designer With-All-That-The-Word-Implies Particularly-When-The-Word-Italian-Precedes-The-Word-Designer.
To bed at 23.15, rising at 01.35 after 25 minutes of wondering whether to get up; then reading, shaving, not-sleeping again, then showering & a short sitting.
The present strategy in my life, the one that follows Moving On, is Letting Go. There is nothing negative in this: letting go is a necessary part of any process that is approaching the stage moving-to-completion. Letting Go is not quite where one's grip is insufficient or careless. Letting Go is intentional: it is a form of all-encompassing relaxation where one releases all of one's psychological & emotional & physical demands; expectations & anticipations; even reasonable projections & detailed planning; one's demands of others; the assertion of "my rights"; even what one wants in life.
There are degrees of letting go: surrender & submission (however we might understand these words) are powerful forms of this, and aspects of service. This is where one lets go of all that one has ever wanted for oneself, trusting that benevolent direction is available to move us from where-we-are to the situation that is right & necessary for us to be. By releasing the hold of our personal demands, what we want for ourselves, we open a space where our proper future may present itself. Letting Go in the autumn of 1984 opened a space for my Wife & Guitar Craft to enter.
Currently, I am considering the next mid-term stage of KC, DGM & GC. In practical terms this is the period 2003-9, and I am wondering what is required of me. Guitar Craft planning is part of this, with the recent discussion in Los Molinos of a possible Guitar Craft House in England to hold a one-year course in 2006-7. I have let go of this idea in the past two weeks. This e-mail from the end of the Japanese tour --
dear tom, hernan & curt,
we are planning for a GC house in england in 2006, and this is entirely reasonable & waiting to be addressed. even, we might plan to begin to plan a plan. at the same time, let's be open to completely change direction, or abandon all of our reasonable planning, if we sense that another & more "real" situation develops.
that is, may we be open to the future. it might be much richer, simpler, complex, better than any we could plan for ourselves.
meanwhile, back to planning!
from fukuoka --
PS from london wednesday 23rd. april... i couldn't get the above out from japan --
my sense, upon reflection in osaka, is that the GC House in england for 2006 is not going to happen. this is mainly instinctive-intuitive rather than the outcome of reasoning. but were i to find a reasonable presentation it might be this...
it limits the future to a particular specific idea; there is a naturally arising process of expansion in seattle, atlanta, spain & mendoza that notions of england might upset/disturb. practically, the cost of property in england is ridiculous.the aim of having the english house is for RF to be available on an ongoing/extensive basis. if we look at the alternative approach - for RF to be available on a regular & intensive basis - what might we have?
six 2-week intensive courses, ie one every two months, is full time. probably, one every six months in each territory is realistic & possible & gives the sense of ongoingness. mendoza, seattle & spain are all possible for this. for 3 month courses, RF might visit at the beginning, middle & end. it would be easier to find a facility in england for a 6-12 week course than to buy a house for a period.in other words, more mix & match, a variegated approach, rather than looking for one solution meets all. there are family considerations for many of the team that this approach also addresses: people can continue their lives, while having opportunities to visit the other centres as well.
for a one-year course for a particular team, no doubt they can travel between the three centres if that seems useful.
for the ongoing-intensive RF presence, i shall continue to look at property opportunities in england. it may be that the GC House idea returns in 2016 when i am 70 and less likely to be available for travelling. and, eyes open, any and all of these might change on a telephone call.
09.47
A journalist friend of Laura at DGM HQ e-mailed her this --
-- from the London Evening Standard, in the Londoner's Diary column, which I thought might interest you, Robert and the gang --
Tony Blair's old friend and Ugly Rumours sidekick Mark Ellen told this morning's Today programme that the PM gets away from it all by listening to a song by 1970s prog-rockers King Crimson called 21st Century Schizoid Man. It's not the Londoner's idea of rest and recuperation. A typical verse runs: "Blood rack barbed wire/Politician's funeral pyre/Innocents raped with napalm fire/21st Century Schizoid Man"
12.50
Celeb family & friends met in the hotel for an 11.00 video playback of this morning's IAC show (Tuesday night's show in the UK) and I am on for an interview at 14.00.
14.53
A short I'm A Celebrity Spouse interview done. Now a Beethoven string quartet is playing while I'm sorting e-mail.
18.50
This is the first day Down Under that I have stayed awake throughout the day. That is, since 01.10 when I woke. Now, dribbling with a deep sense of missing Toyah.
Online commentaries suggesting tension in KC, implying my unhappiness with the band, is misplaced: I am personally happier with these men in this band than in any other Crimson incarnation. I am not aware of "tension" tension: there are always differing views, blind spots, baggage and so on, but we are freer of these than any other Crimson. My primary concerns are:
the structural background of the music industry; performance practice in a commercial culture.Fundamentally, the first undermines the player & performance because the industry is fundamentally exploitative, through & through. The second undermines performance because of the demands made upon it, and the performers, through a significant proportion of the audience having the right to eat both alive, and screw them top & bottom, often with a smile & perhaps with a wave.
Music shapes energies. In a subtle world, where we respond in a corresponding fashion, our relationship with music is utterly unlike any we commonly associate with "performance" or "the musical life"; where "the musical life" is presumed to be a cultural, artistic and/or aesthetic experience, if not entertainment. In a subtle world, we enter a space where we are present within a "living", open, welcoming, benevolent presence. More accurately, the benevolent presence is not "alive": it is conscious (utterly aware of itself).
In the professional domain, the contribution of the music industry & the audience-as-consumer represent & constitute energy blockages of colossal proportions; and these blockages are quite tangible. If we have experienced thought & feelings as material (that is, gross energy patterns) this is not a problematic notion. (And if we haven't, then let's go online and witter about prescience & supernatural abilities).
King Crimson is a blunt instrument in a subtle world, and a subtle instrument in a blunt world. From one point of view then, Crimson fails on both counts. But as a bridge between worlds, where we might stand in the middle and look both ways, Crimson is a rare opportunity. This is also why Crimson is so fragile: on earth, heaven is vulnerable to material forces; in heaven, the earth has no dominion.
As a younger man, I was sufficiently arrogant to force through what I felt to be right. As a younger man, I had the energy & will to do so - and then take a break to recover from the personal damage. As a more mature man, I lack the blunt force required to hold blunt energies at bay; and lack the arrogance to assume that what I perceive as right is necessarily right for others.
Although (recently) I accept myself as an authority in my own life and affairs, subject to those with greater experience and authority, I do not assume that my own sense of rightness should be forced on others. So, I need engagement & support from those who feel similarly; and the tolerance of those who disagree but sense my concern is at least sincere, perhaps legitimate. Where this engagement-in-good-faith is lacking, as with photography & bootlegging, I am vulnerable.
So, we have this: I am no longer prepared to be violated on an ongoing basis when attempting a crossing of the Crimson bridge to the subtle zone; nor am I prepared (even were I able) to "force subtlety" on others.
Letting go of my own wants & demands, I present myself at the feet of the Muse and open myself to what the future requires of me, in the knowledge & surety that I will not be asked to bear anything more than I may honourably bear.
And so, Crimson's future is open and I am open to it. If the energy blockages of music industry & audience prevent much of value taking place, then Crimson will most likely move sideways. Otherwise, the future may become more interesting than the present; and the present I know is already interesting.
"Breathing is optional."
